Wednesday, December 31, 2008

CANADIENS CLOSE OUT 2008 WITH SWIFT KICK TO FLORIDA BUTT

Your Montreal Canadiens avoid deadly December 23rd curse altogether by having it removed from schedule. This tactic seems to have paid off as the Bleu Blanc Rouge return from Bethlehem with a vengeance.
Your intrepid reporter was able to corner Kid Crosby in the underground parking structure of the Igloo. With my weapon put away and his fears allayed, he disclosed how the Canadiens defence was as impermeable as polypropylene graphite. Geno was still crying over the Priceberg's robbery. The Elder Kostitsyn was a titan and the Habs were the greatest team in the world and could he please leave now.
Then came the trip to Florida; Christmas on the Beach, a Montreal Institution. Indeed, an estimated 13 000 Snowbirds in Miami and another 6 000 in Tampa would whole-heartedly agree that the Montreal trip to Florida during the Holidays is the only reason the State was founded at all.
"I love it here!", said Gontran Babineau, "We come in like the lords of all creation, the Floridians are afraid of us. I mean, you should see it here: they spell hockey, H-O-C-K-Y on the arena banners! They call the puck "the poke" and they call bodychecks "bodyhits", it’s great!"
The interview was suddeny cut short when Babineau shouted "Gotta go; there’s more of’em!" He then began to chase a Lightning-shirted lady and her daughter down the street, cackling madly.
So with no December 23rd curse to affect the southern swing, your Montreal Canadiens were left to crash about the Candy Shop like methed-up kids, upsetting displays and breaking gumball machines as they gorged themselves on Florida Raisins. If only one could find such pleasures in New Joisy.
More updates as event warrant.

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